الحب على النت أو العلاقات العاطفية على الإنترنت
يتميز عالم الإنترنت بالخصوصية وإمكانية إقامة علاقات دون معرفة الشخصية الحقيقية، حيث إن برنامج المراسلة Chat أشد خطرًا على الشباب من المواقع الإباحية الموجودة في الإنترنت، وتبدأ غالبًا هذه العلاقات بشكل مسلسل التنازلات، فتنازل أولا عن قراءة القرآن، وبعدها ترك الصلاة في وقتها، ثم يستمر الحال إلى أن يترك فرض الصلاة كليًا، ثم بعد ذلك تراجع في سلوك والتزام وتعليم الشباب حتى تغرقهم في بحر من المعاصي.
يدخل الشباب إلى المواقع للتعرف عليها- فقط للتسلية- وفي وقت الفراغ، وبعدها تبدأ مدة الجلوس أمام الانترنت في الزيادة، في حين يمر الوقت سريعًا، وأثناء تلك المتعة يأخذ الإدمان يستحوذ على عقل الشباب أكثر وأكثر، ثم تأخذ المعصية تجر المعصية، فما دام الشاب قد تنازل عن صلاته فما المانع أن أتعرف على برنامج المراسلة في الانترنت، وهذا البرنامج أشد خطرًا على الشباب من المواقع الإباحية الموجودة في الانترنت.
من خلال برنامج المراسلة، يغرقون في بحر من المعاصي، ساعات طوال بدون فائدة تذكر، فبعد المراسلة الكتابية يبدأ تبادل أرقام الهواتف لتتحول إلى تعارف ومكالمات عبر الهاتف ونسج قصص من الحب الوهمي (الشيطاني)، وهذه المكالمات الهستيرية المدمرة أخلاقيًا واقتصاديا والتي مازال يقع في شباكها المئات، سرعان ما تتحول إلى لقاءات آثمة.
علاقات الإنترنت بالأرقام
وقد ارتفع عدد الأشخاص الذين يدخلون مواقع الغرام والمواعيد على شبكة الإنترنت خلال السنوات الماضية بطريقة ملفتة للنظر، فهناك حوالي 1.6 مليون امرأة و 2.1 مليون رجل دخلوا مواقع المواعدة في العام 2009، وقد أدى الدخول إلى تلك المواقع إلى جني أرباح من قبل الشركات بما يعادل 642 مليون دولار، ولاحظت إحدى المواقع على الإنترنت زيادة نسبة المشتركين إلى أكثر من 150% سنويًا.
وتحتل العلاقات غير الشرعية 70% من محتويات مواقع الدردشة وفقًا لإحصاءات موقع «ياهو»، وفي تفسير لهذا الاندفاع اللافت نحو الجنس يرى علماء الاجتماع أن هؤلاء الشباب يعانون الإحباط والكبت الجنسي الناجم عن محظورات عائلية أو اجتماعية او تربوية أو اخلاقية، ولذا فهم يلجأون إلى الإنترنت لإفراغ ما لديهم من مخزون جنسي في ظل غياب أي من أنواع الرقابة دون رغبة صادقة في الزواج أو الارتباط.
وقد أكدت الدراسة التي أجريت حول استخدام الشباب العربي لبرامج المحادثة وغرف الشات، أن 5% فقط من غرف المحادثة تتناول موضوعات ذات قيمة فكرية وثقافية هادفة وقضايا الأمة وأحوالها، أما 86% من هذه الغرف فهي تعتبر أبواق دعارة وهدم أخلاقي وثقافي يمارس بشكل منظم وممنهج وخاصة ضد الفتيات عن طريق العلاقات الخاصة التي تقوم بين أفرادها، في حين أن 9% من هذه الغرف تتباين في حواراتها وآليات تناولها من جيد إلى سيئ.
تجارب مؤلمة
حاولنا رصد بعض التجارب حيث تقول ف.م من مصر: « تعارفت عليه عبر جروب سياسي على الفيس بوك وكنا نتحدث في بعض الأمور العامة وتطور الحديث حتى اعتقد كل منا أنه يحب الآخر، وكانت هناك تجاوزات شرعية خلال الحديث، وكنا نحاول أن نقطع تواصلنا حتى نتزوج – على حد وعده – لكن العلاقة ظلت سنة ونصف دون شيء إلا أنني كنت ارفض الخطاب لأجله، لكنني تأكدت أنه لا ينوي الزواج إنما كان يسلي وقته، وأنا من تأذيت كثيرًا وأصبت بحالة من الاكتئاب الشديد وعانيت فترة نقاهة طويلة حتى شفيت من التواصل معه».
وقد تكون للعلاقة آثار أكثر إيلامًا حيث تقول خ.ي من الجزائر: «كان تواصلنا عبر أحد المنتديات الإسلامية، ثم سمحت له بالاتصال بي هاتفيًا وقابلته في الجامعة، كان في البداية مهذبًا معي لأقصى درجة وأكد لي رغبته في الزواج فور أن ننتهي من الدراسة، لكن طالت علاقتنا حتى بدأ يطلب مني بعض الصور وكانت هناك بعض المحادثات الجنسية، كنت أشعر باحتقار نفسي، فقد رميت بنفسي في بئر وحل، وكلما حاولت النهوض تكبلت بأنني أحبه، وكلما حاولت الانقطاع عنه أعود، وذات مرة طلبت من إحدى صديقاتي المقربات أن تطلب منه ألا يعاود الاتصال بي مجددًا، لكنها فوجئت به يراسلها ببعض المحادثات التي تمت بيننا وكانت أسلوب ابتزاز جرحتني كثيرًا، وقتها تأكدت أنه لم يكن صادقًا في شيء وتحدثت مع أخي في الأمر وانقطع الاتصال وبقي مرضي النفسي الذي اتعالج منه إلى الآن، أكره كل شيء، أكره نفسي، أكره كل الرجال ولا أثق في أحد».
كما يقع بعض الملتزمين في هذه المشكلة لكن بشكل مختلف حيث يقول فادي من البحرين: «تحدثنا كثيرًا عبر الانترنت عبر غرفة محادثة دعوية على البالتوك، وعندما قررنا الزواج سافرت إليها في مصر، رغم اعتراض أهلي المستمر أن من تتحدث مع شاب غريب على الإنترنت لا تصلح لأن تكون زوجة وأمًا، عندما قابلتها وجدت فتاة غير التي كنت أتحدث معها على الإنترنت، هي لم تقصد أن تخدعني في شيء، لكنني لم أشعر براحة نهائيًا، وعندما قررت إنهاء العلاقة وجدت منها تهديدًا معنويًا بكل الوسائل حتى لا أتركها، فقد مرضت ونقلت للمستشفى، وكانت تقول إنني دمرتها وظلمتها، لكن للأسف علاقات الإنترنت وهمية لا تعطي الانطباع الحقيقي حتى إذا كان أصحاب العلاقة على صدق بالنية في الزواج».
شروط نجاح علاقات الانترنت (الحب على النت)
وتختلف صفاء معهم بعض الشيء حيث تقول: «علاقات الإنترنت لها شروط حتى تكون ناجحة، أولها أن يكون التعارف الأولي فقط عبر الإنترنت، لكن الخطوات اللاحقة والتي تسميها فترة الخطبة وما قبلها، يجب أن تكون هذه الخطوات على أرض الواقع، لأن التعامل عبر الانترنت سواء كتابيًا أو حتى بالصوت والصورة لا يعطي الانطباعات الصحيحة عن كل طرف، والخلوة يكون لها عامل أساسي في تخريب العلاقة قبل أن تبدأ وبالتالي تأخذ منحنى غير شرعي».
ويتفق معها محمود قائلا: «اعجبتني إحدى الفتيات على منتدى الجامعة الذي كنت أشارك فيه، وتحدثت مع أهلي في الأمر ووجدت منهم قبولا، فطلبت من أختي أن تتواصل مع إحدى صديقاتها على المنتدى وتأكدنا أنها ليست مخطوبة، وحصلت مباشرة على رقم أهلها وتمت الخطبة والزواج على أرض الواقع بعيدًا عن الانترنت».
الانطواء الاجتماعي للمراهقين
توجهنا إلى المستشار الدكتور محمد القاضي أستاذ التربية بجامعة عين شمس والذي يتحدث عن علاقات المراهقين على الانترنت: «علاقات الإنترنت تسبب اتساع الفجوة بين الشباب وأهلهم، فهم في مشاكل دائمة معهم وفي شجار مع الآباء والأمهات، وتنقلب شخصياتهم رأسًا على عقب، حتى إن مصروفهم يزداد بشكل ملحوظ،، ويدفعون مبالغ طائلة في ساعات الانترنت على الهواتف الجوالة، أو حتى ثمن المكالمات في الجوال، مع تراجع في مستوى التحصيل الدراسي، والكذب يصبح عادتهم، والمدهش في الأمر أن هذا التعلق الجنوني «السحري» بهذا الشكل من وراء الشاشة دون أن يقابل كل طرف الطرف الآخر وجهًا لوجه، حيث يكون التعارف عبر الأصدقاء غالبًا، فقد يكون الشاب- غالبا- على اتصال بعدة فتيات على الإنترنت في آن واحد، نتائجها تجارب قاسية تسلب الفتاة خاصة كل شيء صحتها وسعادتها ودراستها ونفسها وحتى ذاكرتها وتفكيرها.
نحن لا ننفي وجود التعارف بين الشاب والفتاة، لكن يجب أن يكون هذا الأمر داخل نطاق الأسرة وفي بيت الأهل، فلو حصل أن عرض أحد الشباب أنه يريد أن يتعرف على الفتاة، أو أنه معجب بها ويريد خطبتها لا تقبل اقتراحه أو التواصل معه نهائيًا إلا في بيت أهلها، هكذا تتأكد من نواياه، ومدى أمانته، وهكذا يكون اسلم للطرفين، إننا اليوم في مجتمع لا يرحم الفتاة، ونحن اليوم في مجتمع ذكوري فبمجرد أن تقبل أي علاقة دون خطبة، أو خارج نطاق الأسرة، فمهما كانت نواياها فهي الخاسرة، فالشاب الفاسد يعامل الفتاة كسلعة يستمتع بها، خاصة هؤلاء الذين لا يجدون مانعًا في اللعب بمشاعر الفتيات، وفي مثل هذه العلاقات تكون الفتاة هي المذنبة وهي المسؤولة، أما الشاب فلا أحد يسأله فبعد أي مشكلة يكون هو السبب فيها يخرج بريئًا كأنه لم يفعل شيئا.
انتكاسات نفسية (نتائج الحب على النت)
وعن الأعراض النفسية التي تصاحب العلاقات الفاشلة عبر الانترنت تضيف د. حنان الماوردي الأستاذ بجامعة مصر واستشاري الطب النفسي بمستشفى الأمل قائلة: «مع انتهاء علاقة حب فاشلة عبر الإنترنت تشعر الفتاة في داخلها بفراغ وشرخ كبير جدًا، تكره الحياة، فتاة لا تتحلى بالصبر، لا تملك أي نوع من أنواع الطموح، لا تملك القوة لفعل أي شيء، حتى التفكير يصعب عليها، لم يعد باستطاعتها تحمل أي مسؤولية كما كانت، تملك القدرة للتقدم في تعليمها لكنها قدرة مدمرة، لا تتمكن من استخدامها مما يؤدي إلى فشلها في التعليم، تشعر أنها فتاة عديمة الشخصية في أغلب الأحيان، تكره المجتمع، تفكر بالانتقام بأي وسيلة، فتاة تملك بداخلها طفلة بحاجة إلى العناية والمداعبة والنمو من جديد، تكره نفسها وهي غاضبة جدًا من نفسها، لم تعد راضية عن نفسها وجمالها ومستواها التعليمي والثقافي، فتاة لا تعرف تنظيم حياتها، ولا تملك القدرة على ذلك، حتى مجرد التفكير في البداية غير موجود، عصبية جدًا، تقلل من الجلسات الاجتماعية».
تشعر كأنها تعيش في أحداث فيلم وأن ما يدور حولها لا يهمها، لا تدرك ما الذي تريده، تفقد روحها النقية، تفقد الرغبة في ممارسة حياتها اليومية بشكل طبيعي، تفكر بالطرق السيئة، لم تعد تملك تلك الطريقة اللبقة في الكلام، لم تعد تحب القراءة والثقافة، تفضل الانزواء، يصعب عليها التركيز، تفشل كلما حاولت التقدم حتى ولو تقدمت قليلا لتعود إلى حالة اليأس والإحباط والكآبة، تشعر دائمًا أنها فاشلة وهذا الشعور يلاحقها، وهي لا تتقبل هذا الوضع، أنها فاشلة، وأن ذلك الشاب المستهتر واللامبالي هو الذي أدى بها إلى الوصول لتلك الحالة، وهو السارق الذي سرق أجمل ما فيها، وتحاول أن تنجح للتخلص مما هي فيه، وربما تنجح قليلا لكن هذا النجاح لا يدوم طويلا، لكنها تدرك أنها مازالت بحاجة لمن يساعدها على الظهور من جديد.
الآباء سبب للتوجه الخاطئ
وعن دور الأهل في وقوع الأبناء في هذه المشكلات يضيف المستشار الاجتماعي حمدي محسن: «لا نرى للمتحابين غير النكاح» وهنا يأتي دور الأهل لأنهم يضعون مئات العقبات والمطالب أمام الشاب الذي أحب ابنتهم وتقدم لخطبتها بشكل رسمي بدلا من العلاقات الخاطئة والتي في الغالب لا يحتاجها الشاب ولا الفتاة إلا لإرضاء المجتمع، وبعض الآباء يقفون حجر عثرة أمام مستقبل بناتهم فقد رفض أحدهم تزويج ابنته الصغرى قبل الكبرى لينتهي الأمر بالصغرى كأختها التي فاتها القطار عدة محطات، ليصل بها إلى محطة العنوسة، وآخر لا يستغني عن راتب ابنته التي تملأ جيبه نهاية كل شهر، والفتاة تكبر والأيام تمضي والسنون تمر وليس على لسانه إلا عبارات الرفض لكل طارق يطرق بابه طالبا ابنته، وكل مرة يتذرع بذريعة ويقدم حججا واهية لرفضه من يتقدمون لابنته، وعندما ضاقت ابنته بهذا الحال وحاولت أن تكلمه بهذا الأمر، وبخها ونهرها واتهمها بقلة الأدب وسوء الأخلاق وعدم الوعي وأنه أدرى بمصلحتها منها، فلم يكن منها إلا الزواج السري والذي يكون الانترنت هو الوسيلة الوحيدة للعثور على رجل الأحلام كما تعتقد.
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